” and it went downhill from here ” thought john while wiping up his babies vomit. he should not have done this. this was the worst decision of his life. he was never, ever again, sleeping with a woman that was not on birthcontrol. and don’t let her give you the baby. ” let’s do this ” she said. ” it will be fun ” she said. actually it was no fun at all. it more felt like a tiny cage that he was kept in. he was not much more than an animal in his nearest zoo. there were constantly girls admiring his sweet dadhood while he could not stop thinking about how to get rid of this damn thing. this damn thing was called adam. adam seemed to be a great name for this creature as he was the world’s first plague too. john was not really fond of any religion nor any decision he has ever made. but he was fond of the fact that he has done something wrong. after months of self pity one cloudy evening he decided to give things a turn. he has seen people killing people on tv, but not ever has he seen a dad killing his baby. ” it is about time to change.” john thought out loud. change meant death in this case. brutal baby murder. but john did not seems to be concerned about it whatsoever. apparently it was the first time in his whole little life he knew what he was doing. and he knew that what he was doing was insane, but brilliant. so john packed the baby by his feet and held him up like this for at least ten minutes. at first the baby cried and cried and guess what..cried. but as john looked up at his way too big clock, saw it change to four a.m., knowing that it must have been ten minutes now, he started to notice something. there was silence.. had he already done it? was he a baby killer? and if so, what was he gonna do with the corpse? this was not any stupid show, this was real life, and it scared the shit out of our poor protagonist. but as always, it got worse. if you think shit could not get any realer, the mother of the baby you just killed, your baby, walks in your flat completely and totally drunk and lets herself fall on your couch and sleeps. in the worst of those cases which sadly made up john’s life the protagonist completly forgot the he gave her the keys. so that was the inventory: one dead baby, one way too drunk ex acquaintance with john’s keys and then there was john. stumbled, looking at the whole situation he could describe in one simple world that fit most of the situations he has been in:” bullshit”. but what was he gonna do about it. he had no experience in hiding bodies or the ability to explain to a drunk lady that he purposely killed her own blood. after a long chain of thoughts he suddenly came to the point of regret. but there was not time to commemorate. john had to find a solution. quick! out of nowhere he remembered an old school friend which was now the owner of a funeral home…for pets. but was there even a difference? kids are annoying as well as dogs and they consume at least the same amount of time and money. his natural reaction was to call. then again as he heard the calm voice saying ”porter’s funeral home, how can i help you?” john did not know how to explain that he had just killed his baby, had the mother lie drunk on his couch and himself in the middle of all that. after all these nervewrecking adventures, he took a look at the baby again. it was so calm. maybe all he wanted and looked for in his years on this earth was the same kind of calmness. it seemed like a spontaneous win of six billion dollars when he remembered how to kill yourself just with the help of an ordinary diaper. maybe john’s worst night of his life wasn’t so bad and maybe this baby was the best thing that could have ever happened to him.